At today's doctor appointment I got the green light to go back to work... with the condition that I do it "gently". He must've figured me out already, hee hee. I am definately excited to get back in the groove of life, no more couch surfing for me. The kids are going back to school and my work week is full. Ready or not, here we go!
I am not even one month out from the original surgery and far from the finish line, not that it's a race by any means. The doctor is very pleased with my healing. We have discovered that I have super sensitive skin. My list of allergies seems to be growing with every procedure which makes healing a much slower process.
Three weeks from now the expansion process will begin, a whole new chapter, but that much closer to done.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Three Weeks Done!
At this point the doctor originally said he would probably release me to "go back to the gym". I decided that translated to my usual workload but told all my clients I wouldn't be back til the new year. What's the point of trying to work between Christmas and New Year's anyway? Plus I would have a little extra just in case time.... which of course, now it looks like I will need.
It's funny, not in the ha ha way, what becomes reality so quickly. How easy it is to forget what normal life is like. Taking a shower never used to be an exhausting adventure followed by meticulous wound dressings and post surgery bindings. Getting dressed was not a matter of what I could put on but what I wanted to wear. I never set an alarm during the middle of the night to take pain pills so I could even get out of bed in the morning. The comparisons are endless.
My darling son got a new mp3 player for Christmas. He has asked me a least ten times since he opened it Sunday night to download a list of songs and synch other music to it. Every time I told him I would when I had some time. Tonight was the boiling point, he asked one too many times and I said I was busy one too many times.... he decided to yell that I haven't done anything for him this month. I saw red, of course, that was his point, but at the same time I knew it was true. I am usually the be all, end all to my children. My family helps but they depend on me. I keep looking at this process thru my eyes and forget that they are very affected by my battle and recovery. Other then their usual requests for basic care, they want to hug me- the squeeze the pudding out of you kind. When they get within my bubble these days I am already on the defense, hands raised, braced for pain. We give lots of kisses and have found creative ways to cuddle but none of those are the same as a really good hug. Talking thru these moments of frustration help calm the situation but nothing really fixes it. I wish I could fast forward to the point of me being back to 100%.
It's funny, not in the ha ha way, what becomes reality so quickly. How easy it is to forget what normal life is like. Taking a shower never used to be an exhausting adventure followed by meticulous wound dressings and post surgery bindings. Getting dressed was not a matter of what I could put on but what I wanted to wear. I never set an alarm during the middle of the night to take pain pills so I could even get out of bed in the morning. The comparisons are endless.
My darling son got a new mp3 player for Christmas. He has asked me a least ten times since he opened it Sunday night to download a list of songs and synch other music to it. Every time I told him I would when I had some time. Tonight was the boiling point, he asked one too many times and I said I was busy one too many times.... he decided to yell that I haven't done anything for him this month. I saw red, of course, that was his point, but at the same time I knew it was true. I am usually the be all, end all to my children. My family helps but they depend on me. I keep looking at this process thru my eyes and forget that they are very affected by my battle and recovery. Other then their usual requests for basic care, they want to hug me- the squeeze the pudding out of you kind. When they get within my bubble these days I am already on the defense, hands raised, braced for pain. We give lots of kisses and have found creative ways to cuddle but none of those are the same as a really good hug. Talking thru these moments of frustration help calm the situation but nothing really fixes it. I wish I could fast forward to the point of me being back to 100%.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Debbie called the Dr. and the Dr. said....
Please meet me in the emergency room this afternoon..... boo hoo! The incision on the right breast looked even worse this morning. To the point that there was a mild waterfall from it when I leaned over to dry off my legs after the shower. All of my other marks are healing well so there was something obviously wrong. Rather then ruining mine and the doctor's Christmas' I called today and said I think we should take care of it. It was already planned for the kids to have time with their Dad overnight so I wouldn't have to change anything for them. And my bonus, Super Grandpa was sitting in his recliner with the day off and no special plans. He loaded me into the car and off we went. It was a quiet trip and the only comment made when we got there was that this brought back old memories. None of which were good, of course. We got the usual song and dance from the er dept and waited hours til my dr was even called and told I was there.... annoying. Especially cause I was hungry and he told me over the phone not to eat or drink since we were probably headed for surgery- again. He checked me over and said let's not wait anymore, it's better to be safe and not risk infection.
An operating room was booked for 5pm, I was treated like a pin cushion and sent upstairs to wait. The nurses upstairs had no idea why I was there, couldn't find my paperwork, and spent a few minutes trying not to look like chickens with their heads cut off. Cracked me up! A little visitor came to check on me and the orderlies promptly came to haul me away. Fast forward a few minutes, time sure does fly when there is an anethesiologist around ;-)
The doctor found a piece of fat, must've been something else, that had died in the incision and wasn't letting the rest of the tissue heal. He was glad that we took the time to fix it now instead of it causing a big problem. Now both of us can quit worrying and enjoy Christmas!
I woke up to two very sweet recovery nurses covering me in warm blankets and one male nurse who was rocking out complete with air guitar. We all had a good laugh. They used an iv medicene to knock me out so I was up and ready for battle fast as lightening, even pain free, at that moment. They found my patiently waiting Father and we all went back upstairs. The three rules for getting yourself out of the hospital after an out-patient procedure are, eat, pee and walk. I power ate two packets of saltines, a bowl of red jello, asked the nurse to help me haul my iv pole to the bathroom, and then we walked two laps. Ta Dah!! Can I go home now?!?!? They looked a little surprised and said sure. Hooray! I was home before 9:00 with my favorite tacos for dinner.
No drainage tubes, no steri- strips. Back to an ace bandage for a couple of days but hopefully completely on the path to recovery! Just to be really safe I will also be starting another course of antibiotics, yeah more pills :p At least I still have time to get the presents wrapped and rest before the monkeys get home tomorrow.
An operating room was booked for 5pm, I was treated like a pin cushion and sent upstairs to wait. The nurses upstairs had no idea why I was there, couldn't find my paperwork, and spent a few minutes trying not to look like chickens with their heads cut off. Cracked me up! A little visitor came to check on me and the orderlies promptly came to haul me away. Fast forward a few minutes, time sure does fly when there is an anethesiologist around ;-)
The doctor found a piece of fat, must've been something else, that had died in the incision and wasn't letting the rest of the tissue heal. He was glad that we took the time to fix it now instead of it causing a big problem. Now both of us can quit worrying and enjoy Christmas!
I woke up to two very sweet recovery nurses covering me in warm blankets and one male nurse who was rocking out complete with air guitar. We all had a good laugh. They used an iv medicene to knock me out so I was up and ready for battle fast as lightening, even pain free, at that moment. They found my patiently waiting Father and we all went back upstairs. The three rules for getting yourself out of the hospital after an out-patient procedure are, eat, pee and walk. I power ate two packets of saltines, a bowl of red jello, asked the nurse to help me haul my iv pole to the bathroom, and then we walked two laps. Ta Dah!! Can I go home now?!?!? They looked a little surprised and said sure. Hooray! I was home before 9:00 with my favorite tacos for dinner.
No drainage tubes, no steri- strips. Back to an ace bandage for a couple of days but hopefully completely on the path to recovery! Just to be really safe I will also be starting another course of antibiotics, yeah more pills :p At least I still have time to get the presents wrapped and rest before the monkeys get home tomorrow.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
One step forward, a few steps back
Forward: Finally, finally the last drainage tube is out!!!! Major cause for celebration, also painful. Begining to understand that every step along this process will involve pain..... guess we will see just how much I can take.
Backward: The incision on the right breast is not looking good. To the point that the doctor is now talking about a "quick" surgery to remove the not healing tissue and reclosing it with healthy tissue. He wanted to also make sure that I knew to call at any time of the day or night if it opened up or looked any worse and he would meet me at the emergency room.... do not wait til your next appointment.
Insert worried face!!!!! UGH! Can't a girl catch a break- seriously!!!!
Meanwhile on the home front, Christmas tree is up, a few presents are under- most have to wait for Christmas Eve cause certain small children have no self control. Many, many secret angels/santas have been leaving packages on our door step. This household is being showered in love and sugar! I am looking forward to a peaceful holiday with my family and hoping for healing.
Merry Almost Christmas Friends and Loved Ones!
Backward: The incision on the right breast is not looking good. To the point that the doctor is now talking about a "quick" surgery to remove the not healing tissue and reclosing it with healthy tissue. He wanted to also make sure that I knew to call at any time of the day or night if it opened up or looked any worse and he would meet me at the emergency room.... do not wait til your next appointment.
Insert worried face!!!!! UGH! Can't a girl catch a break- seriously!!!!
Meanwhile on the home front, Christmas tree is up, a few presents are under- most have to wait for Christmas Eve cause certain small children have no self control. Many, many secret angels/santas have been leaving packages on our door step. This household is being showered in love and sugar! I am looking forward to a peaceful holiday with my family and hoping for healing.
Merry Almost Christmas Friends and Loved Ones!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I officially over did it.... oops!
For the last week I have been whining about the drainage tubes that drive me crazy. Well at yesterdays appt the doc gave the ok to pull the one on the right. As excited as I was to be getting it out I was a little nervous about how it would feel. For some reason I thought there was a length of tubing in there that coiled around the surgical site, no such luck. Within a few inches he pulled out a small rectangular sieve... major ouch :( Then, of course, I proceeded to leak fluid all over my back and fancy surgical bra.
As if that wasn't enough he went on to check the left side and decided to drain some fluid from the expander to help with the bruising and drainage. I should have been concerned when I heard him tell the nurse to get lidocaine ready but I was way more interested in the tool he uses to find the magnetic port on the expander. A strange sensation but really no big deal.... til the numbness wore off!
My village had planned a christmas dessert get together at Big River for later that night. I got ready and my ever faithful chaueffer came to pick me up. Within an hour at the restaurant I was toast. The pain was off the chart, it was all I could do to put on a blank face. When I got home I went straight for the good meds but have been chasing to get this under control ever since. NOT GOOD!
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the girls and I had spent a couple of hours doing some holiday baking before the appt. How is it that I am so good at sabotaging myself?
The good news, my crew is going for an extended playdate this afternoon and I will sleeping the pain away.
As if that wasn't enough he went on to check the left side and decided to drain some fluid from the expander to help with the bruising and drainage. I should have been concerned when I heard him tell the nurse to get lidocaine ready but I was way more interested in the tool he uses to find the magnetic port on the expander. A strange sensation but really no big deal.... til the numbness wore off!
My village had planned a christmas dessert get together at Big River for later that night. I got ready and my ever faithful chaueffer came to pick me up. Within an hour at the restaurant I was toast. The pain was off the chart, it was all I could do to put on a blank face. When I got home I went straight for the good meds but have been chasing to get this under control ever since. NOT GOOD!
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the girls and I had spent a couple of hours doing some holiday baking before the appt. How is it that I am so good at sabotaging myself?
The good news, my crew is going for an extended playdate this afternoon and I will sleeping the pain away.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Second week done!
One word sums it up.... progress! Slower then I'd like but it is progress. I am spending more daytime hours awake. More moments taking care of my usual chores. No cooking or laundry yet, GG is still in charge of those departments, bless her heart. I have been battling pain much less, major bonus! Hoping with every cell of my being that the drainage tubes are removed tomorrow. They are a pain in more ways then one, necessary but painful none the less. I even drove myself to the store today to pick up a few things we needed. Loved having the freedom to just go, not wait on anyone to take me.
Going to recruit the monkeys to help with some holiday baking. We are going to make the most of this Christmas and celebrate it the way we should. Lot of good food, time with our family, and being thankful for all our many blessings!
Going to recruit the monkeys to help with some holiday baking. We are going to make the most of this Christmas and celebrate it the way we should. Lot of good food, time with our family, and being thankful for all our many blessings!
Friday, December 16, 2011
More follow-up
My meeting with Dr. Faddis was busniness as usual. They checked my biopsy site and gave me some more supplies for dressing changes. Then we went down the hall to his office to review the pathology report. It turns out that once again my guardian angel was guiding me. All of the tissue removed on the right side had non-invasive cancer cells. The "creepy" finding was that the right nipple was chosen to be removed because of how close it was to the known tumors but in fact was full of cancer cells also. That fact was not found during the ultrasound, mammograms, or biopsy. The pathologist noted a duct that goes between the breast tissue and muscle wall that was within 0.1mm of the margin of positive cells.
The surgeon wants to remove it to be completely sure that not even a microscopic amount of cancer cells remain. He still feels confident that there is no need for chemo or radiation and that the surgery can wait until the expanders are ready to be replaced with the permenant implants. The report also noted zero cells of cancer on the left side!
I am making great strides in the mobility department. As funny as the nurse was about my t-rex arms that was never really a problem. Much more bothersome was feeling like I could take deep breaths. I am able to shower, change my bandages, and dress unassisted. I can even put a shirt on over my head- seems silly but that was impossible a week ago. The hurdles are my lack of energy, sleepiness from pain meds, and the darn drainage tubes. So cross all your pieces for me that on Tuesday he agrees to remove them. It will be cause for major celebration if that happens!!
My amazing Grandma and the army of angels and friends who constantly bring food, special treats, and take care of the daily households chores, not to mention my monkeys have made this process a huge success. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
The surgeon wants to remove it to be completely sure that not even a microscopic amount of cancer cells remain. He still feels confident that there is no need for chemo or radiation and that the surgery can wait until the expanders are ready to be replaced with the permenant implants. The report also noted zero cells of cancer on the left side!
I am making great strides in the mobility department. As funny as the nurse was about my t-rex arms that was never really a problem. Much more bothersome was feeling like I could take deep breaths. I am able to shower, change my bandages, and dress unassisted. I can even put a shirt on over my head- seems silly but that was impossible a week ago. The hurdles are my lack of energy, sleepiness from pain meds, and the darn drainage tubes. So cross all your pieces for me that on Tuesday he agrees to remove them. It will be cause for major celebration if that happens!!
My amazing Grandma and the army of angels and friends who constantly bring food, special treats, and take care of the daily households chores, not to mention my monkeys have made this process a huge success. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
First post-op appointment
I went to see the plastic surgeon this morning for my first post-op appointment. I came in with high hopes of having my drainage tubes removed and being released from the enormous ace bandage that has been squeezing my rib cage for the last week. Only one of those hopes came true.... small pouty face. Turns out I need a few more days of drainage before he feels comfortable removing the tubes. The plus side is that I am now able to shower like a normal person, HOORAY!!! Instead of the compression wrap I have a fancy sports bra that helps me look less like a frankenstein project. The bruises are extensive and colorful. The shape is far from ideal or balanced but the worst is over. Only forward progress from here :-D
I have another post-op appointment with my other surgeon tomorrow. He'll check the biopsy site and explain more about the results. I will also probably be referred onto a different doctor for future monitoring.
It was wonderful to get out of the house this morning, I even wore jeans and real shoes! Tonight Janessa has a winter music performance that we will all be going to. So I am off to take a real shower followed by a nap so I can enjoy my next outing!
My wonderful angels have been taking such good care of the kids and I. We are all so thankful!!!
I have another post-op appointment with my other surgeon tomorrow. He'll check the biopsy site and explain more about the results. I will also probably be referred onto a different doctor for future monitoring.
It was wonderful to get out of the house this morning, I even wore jeans and real shoes! Tonight Janessa has a winter music performance that we will all be going to. So I am off to take a real shower followed by a nap so I can enjoy my next outing!
My wonderful angels have been taking such good care of the kids and I. We are all so thankful!!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Surgery and such
Monday morning arrived icy and cold. I set the alarm for 5am but was woke up early because Elie had a bad dream. I got her settled and followed my shower instructions. Nothing like shivering in the shower covered in yucky smelling pink soap to start your day. Got dressed, checked my hospital bag, put on my slippers and we were off. A million thanks to my chaeuffer Katie Taylor for the door to door service in her nice warm car. Front row parking was awaiting us and we were ushered into the short stay dept. A quick weigh in and generic questions and I was issued my fancy gown and non-skid socks. Then the waiting game started. Thank goodness for silly friends who got up at the crack of dawn to keep me laughing and distracted. The staff attempted to limit my visitors but we eventually snuck everyone in. What do they think this is a serious time? Finally all the doctors had talked with me, I was marked and ready to go. High fives all around, blown kisses and my happy cocktail was on board. Fast forward a few minutes, so it seemed to me, and I was waking up in recovery. Fast forward a couple more minutes and I was in my hospital room, which thanks to Gaga was a private room with a nice view and quiet neighbors.
The first day and night was nothing short of a nightmare. The nurses maxed out the pain and nausea meds they could give me but it still wasn't enough. The next morning I had the nurse help me get adjusted, turns out I had three extra pillows, and countless blankets twisted all around. We got me into a fresh gown and she put the bed back to normal. I ordered some breakfast and it all tasted so good, for the first few minutes. More nausea meds and I was ok. I had lots of visitors and managed to keep two more meals down. I called super grandpa and asked him to bring the kids up for a visit. They made me beautiful cards and gave me extra gentle hugs. I sent them off so they could get to bed on time, telling them I hoped to be waiting on the couch when they got home from school.
The second night was much less eventful. The nurses came in less often and I actually got some sleep. By Wednesday morning I was chomping at the bit to leave! I got myself out of bed and spent the rest of the day in the rocking chair. The docs agreed to release me with a long list of instructions. Hooray, I was so happy to go home.
Home is fabulous but has it's own challenges. My bed is infinitely more comfortable but does not adjust. No one wants to take my temp and blood pressure every two minutes. My children are very happy to see me but are having a hard time adjusting to a Mom that sits on the couch. We are all learning the new rules to this recovery process.
I have follow up appointments with both surgeons next week. I am hoping they will remove the 4in. ace bandage that is squeezing me in half plus the drainage tubes that make me look like a Frankenstein project. Plus we are waiting to hear the official results of the lymph node biopsy. I know this will be a lengthy process but I would like to fast forward out of this akward stage into my beautiful butterfly stage!
The first day and night was nothing short of a nightmare. The nurses maxed out the pain and nausea meds they could give me but it still wasn't enough. The next morning I had the nurse help me get adjusted, turns out I had three extra pillows, and countless blankets twisted all around. We got me into a fresh gown and she put the bed back to normal. I ordered some breakfast and it all tasted so good, for the first few minutes. More nausea meds and I was ok. I had lots of visitors and managed to keep two more meals down. I called super grandpa and asked him to bring the kids up for a visit. They made me beautiful cards and gave me extra gentle hugs. I sent them off so they could get to bed on time, telling them I hoped to be waiting on the couch when they got home from school.
The second night was much less eventful. The nurses came in less often and I actually got some sleep. By Wednesday morning I was chomping at the bit to leave! I got myself out of bed and spent the rest of the day in the rocking chair. The docs agreed to release me with a long list of instructions. Hooray, I was so happy to go home.
Home is fabulous but has it's own challenges. My bed is infinitely more comfortable but does not adjust. No one wants to take my temp and blood pressure every two minutes. My children are very happy to see me but are having a hard time adjusting to a Mom that sits on the couch. We are all learning the new rules to this recovery process.
I have follow up appointments with both surgeons next week. I am hoping they will remove the 4in. ace bandage that is squeezing me in half plus the drainage tubes that make me look like a Frankenstein project. Plus we are waiting to hear the official results of the lymph node biopsy. I know this will be a lengthy process but I would like to fast forward out of this akward stage into my beautiful butterfly stage!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Decisions, decisions....
Or should I apologize?
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